It is almost a year since the first day I met Thanh V Tran, but the way I felt about him never stops. How can I love him so much ? I cannot answer that. He becomes my daily drug dose I need to take. I need to talk to him in order for me to be happy and function throughout the dates. Like I cannot imagine my life without his existence in the future ! I really do not how. I do not know when that dates gonna come but I hope it will won't because I would love to live in this beautiful dream with him forever. 

Since he already decided that we cannot be together, and I even know that but then for some reasons, I just can't accept that. He told me once, that I will able to move on once I find a new boyfriend, but how can I ? Since I love him too too much already.. 

Even though I know that one day when I have to eventually moved on because I dont know how long I can be like this. but I hope I have enough courage to continue with my decision which is being my his side, supporting him, taking care of him, being silly besides him, talking to him most of the days in a week when I know there will be no future for us..... 

Hello life, I wish you can show my the right direction to go on in my life right now. I have to admit I get lost very often.

Thanh asked me last week, " why do you like me so much? " With a simple answer, I said I like you just because you know I like you. There should not be any reasons when you love someone. He then disagree with me saying that there must be a reason when you falling in love with someone. I guess he is correct.

That question keeps me thinking, unfortunately, I still cannot find an answer. I mean I can come up with millions of reasons why I like him. Anh Thanh is strong, understanding and caring. He cares about people around him. He takes care of my every little details. He bought me new running shoes, he bought me the new towel for me to shower because it is good for my skin and so on. Most important of all, we get along when we speak. We understand each other. It is just very comfortable talking to him. I can tell anh Thanh everything. I felt like I can be myself when I am next to him. He is the only person actually can makes my heart flutter like that, just being the way he is, once very old, mean yet the most amazing, caring and funny person in my life.